Saturday, December 22, 2007

tears of joy

So you're at your friend's wedding. You're in your folding chair. You've got your program (it's rolled into a telescope). Your eye makeup looks pretty. Your under-eye circles have been masterfully camouflaged. You're enjoying the show... then the vows. You get choked up before they even start. The tearing reaches situation critical very quickly. You're dabbing repeatedly at your eyes with a wadded up kleenex so that you don't get mascara streaks down your face. But dabbing never works. No, never. Always with the streaking.
You know what does work? Evaporation. The fanning works. Fanning, not streaking. I swear.
You know what else fans are great for? Cooling hot wedding guests at outdoor ceremonies. Pretty sandalwood fans work well. They're great as functional favors, just distribute before the ceremony rather than after.

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